I try to live by the phrase “uncomfortably comfortable.” It’s a paradox in itself, but hear me out. You know that apprehension you get when you’re about to do something different? Nobody’s forcing you to do it, but you’re doing it anyways even if it scares you a little. It could be volunteering to give a speech, starting a new collaboration with someone you just met, travelling on your own for the first time, or taking leadership for something. Sometimes, being uncomfortably comfortable is what we need to learn new things and grow.
So you might be thinking “Jin, it’s good you’re being existential, but what’s the dare?” And this might sound like the vaguest thing ever, but here’s my dare:
Do something you’re totally uncomfortable with.
And now you might be thinking “but what exactly does that mean?”
I saw a Buzzfeed video (back when I still liked Buzzfeed videos other than the Unsolved series) about women facing their fashion fears. There’s even a video on men facing their fashion fears now! My point is that a lot of the choices we make in regards to what we wear go hand in hand with how we feel about ourselves on a deeper level. Fashion is more psychological than it seems. And this is coming from someone who’s worked in retail and seen all sorts of people.
When someone says “isn’t that color too bright on me?”, it could mean “I feel like I’m going to be too attention catching in it, and I don’t like that.”
When someone says “that’s too sexy for me”, it could mean “I don’t like how my body looks, so I don’t want to show it off.”
Sometimes, things can’t be taken for face value. But at the end of the day, I can only speak for myself.
When I said “I don’t like oversize clothes because they make me feel blah”, the truth was that I was paranoid with my weight and couldn’t wear anything that made me feel large.
When I said “life’s too short for boring hair colors”, the underlying truth was that I felt like there would be nothing special about me if I didn’t have crazy hair.
When I said “flat shoes are more practical”, the truth was that I was scared I’d look too awkward in heels because I’m already 5’7.
Over the past year, I’ve been calling myself out on fashion habits that I’ve been doing just because I was scared to do differently. I started to wear tops that are not skin tight, as seen in my soft grunge post. I’ve let my black hair grow out instead of re-bleaching it. There’s still some color on the ends, but eventually that’ll grow out too.
Leading back to the purpose of this post, my dare for you is to try something that you’re uncomfortable with because of an underlying fear. In my experience, it’s been a little unnerving, awkward at times, but definitely liberating.
Let’s chat in the comments below